Dear Abby: My stepmother keeps abusing my favors and asking for more

Dear ABBY: I’m a 37-year-old woman who seems to be the go-to person in my family for figuring things out. Because my stepmother wasn’t quite comfortable with her English and trying to win her approval, I made sure to take care of the things she couldn’t do from a young age. The problem is that while I used to pride myself on always being able to figure things out, I no longer feel that way.

There are five siblings in total. We are all adults now, but my stepmom seems to only come to me to solve any problems she has. If someone offers to help her, she’ll say something like, “That’s fine, but I’ll just ask your sister.” I realize it may be my fault because of my incessant need to please him.

Lately, though, I’ve struggled more and more with feeling used, like my worth depends only on what I can do for it. Is there a way to change her expectations without having to tell her directly how I feel? – VERY HELPFUL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR VERY HELPFUL: You may find it easier to start by being less available when your stepmother has a “honey-be.” She might be shocked and not like it, so be prepared when you tell her to ask one of your siblings. The alternative is to be completely open with her about your feelings, including the fact that you think she only values ​​you because of what she perceives you can do for her.

Being the only “adult” in the family is a terrible burden to place on a child, which seems to be what happened to you. I knew someone like that. Like you, he was the designated problem solver in the family. Alas, no one was appreciative of his efforts. Instead, they not only took advantage of him, but also angered him for it.

Stop this scenario before you start seriously disliking your “helpless” stepmother.

Dear ABBY: I am a walker and would like to know, is there a rule about passing an oncoming walker? I tend to stay to my right as if I were driving a car, but the occasional pedestrian seems to insist on staying to the left.

Also, a shout out to your readers: The sidewalks are gone PEDESTRIANSso please do not park your vehicles, lawn mowers, lawn equipment, home maintenance/repair equipment, etc. on them. While it is easy for me to maneuver around them, it is not easy for small children on bicycles or individuals who use wheelchairs or push strollers. – WALKING IN FLORIDA

Dear Wanderer: The rules of etiquette for pedestrians are the same as for drivers in all 50 states: Keep to the right side of the “road.” Also, people riding scooters and bicycles on the sidewalk are a danger to pedestrians. In many communities, there may be ordinances to discourage parking devices on sidewalks. If the agreement is semi-permanent, visit your municipality’s website to determine which department violations should be reported to.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.